Where Are You Now?

Starts confined and in an invisible integument

Photo by Joshua Cazoe

After I returned I continued the (White Dresses) series started in Berlin Why Did You Go So Far? with Where Are You Now? I performed as part of the CoCo (Contemporary Choreographers Collective) Festival at the Little Carib Theater.

This series works out of memory almost as a kind of reenactment, the decision to repeat it is to dialogue with myself and hopefully take it out of myself as a kind of burden worn like second skin. This makes memory into ritual.

The actions were minimalist to get to a very raw aspect of memory. I start obscured by darkness, crouched and contorted underneath a chair and very close to the audience off stage. As the music starts slowly I start to move, at first I am swaying back and forth. Then the urgency to escape starts to rise within me and I need to break free even though I am not behind any actual bars. It is as though I am confined to an invisible barrier and I use my body in ways to make the most of my limited space. Eventually in my absurd struggle I make it on the chair and from that height it becomes easier to crawl onto the stage. Once I have made it to that distance I am not free, the more I try to rise and stand is the more I fall. But with enough practice I am now confident enough to bring that chair, that somehow both confined me and set me free, up with me. It is yet more struggle to drag it up on the stage and with the final pull I fall with it and we engage in a strange dance consisting of me trying to conquer the chair and make it be a chair- static for me to sit on. Only when this is achieved, when I was able to sit on it, was the performance over

After I went so far I had to sit down and ask myself Where Am I Now, Really?

Ends seated
Photo by Karen Johnstone

Don't Let Me Die

photo by Monika Sobczak

At the P.A.S. workshop I met Savio Debernadis, from Italy, and instantly everyone in the group noticed that we mirrored each other in many ways. We had very similar hair type and color, skin color, body size and even personality traits. I enjoyed coming so far from familiarity to find someone very familiar to myself like a long lost relative.

We decided to experiment with the potential of each other's similarity for the possibility of a performance together. During the exercises of the workshop and even during our free time we were critical of each other to notice what is the quality of our interaction. Finally we admitted to ourselves that our interaction was not harmonious because we were too much the same. Together we emphasize our individual pathetic qualities making every movement very internal and psychologically tense or even absurdist.

The major difference between us is our gender but even that is debatable because of our common body type and androgyny. However, gender was included in our final performance as a secondary theme to play with like props. We both wore similar hair styles and clothes  but still it was obvious that one was more authentically female and the other was almost passing. He had plenty facial hair so his passing for female was more like a parody and obviously untrue. We had another gender prop; this was the action repeated through out the night of imposing each other's gender on the other. I had lipstick in my hand as a symbol of my femaleness and he had an eyeliner pencil, used to give me the appearance of facial hair, to symbolize his maleness.

doppelgängers

photo by Matthias Pick

The main action consisted of us being binded together back to back to see how we survive as one homogenous being since we are so much the same. This was a reference to Aristophanes' speech in Plato's Symposium that says people were made so perfect that they made the gods jealous. So one day Zeus cursed them all by separating them and thereby forcing them to spend their lives in search of their other half and end the misery of being alone and separate.

photo by Monika Sobczak

It was a durational performance beginning as my solo performance ended until the end of the night; that lasted 150 minutes. He has the eyeliner in his hands, trying to draw moustaches on me. I have a lipstick, trying to put it on his lips. The only way we allowed ourselves to communicate is with the phrase “ Don’t let me die”. The time, the uncomfortable position, the impossibility of a good communication, the action to put lipstick or eyeliner on the other was a journey from the pathetic, the absurd and the humorous. The performance finished when he, gave a knife to a person in the audience, and said: “Please let me die”. The person cut the tape and the two performers run away becoming free from the other.

doppelgängers struggling

doppelgängers almost dying

photos by Monika Sobczak

The whole that Aristophanes spoke of was not us because we were exact doubles so conflict and disharmony arose. There could be no point of contact and intersection between so much of the same. The more alike we were the more impotent we became together.

More information and photos on the performance can be viewed :

http://pas.bbbjohannesdeimling.de/index.php?/2011/michelle-isava---saverio-debernardis/

Why Did You Go So Far?

Camera by Christopher Hewitt

For my second time participating and performing in the Performance Art Studies program I conceived of my performance with three basic elements:

• a cage- to escape from
• feathers -to escape with
• and a childish dress- to contextualize the escape.

The process of finding these items directed the action. The cage was more symbolic than literal so I decided to use a metal fold up bed. Since the bed is two dimensional it had to be hung for visual impact. It was hung over a window and I stood behind it waiting to start the performance. Like a caged bird at night, the front bars of my cage(-bed) were covered with a sheet. The audience met me hidden in this way. I started slowly to struggle behind the sheet making sounds hitting the bars to brake free. Eventually the sheet fell down. At that point I stood still and repeated the word ‘Emergency’ like a lullaby. I stretched the word into Emerge- en - cee to make it suggestive and haunting. When I stopped I found a simple way to gain freedom from my cage and I merely crawled out underneath. On the ground were many feathers on which I started to move but could never get away from as they moved with me; making me slip and even going into my mouth. I struggled in this way for several minutes until I slowed down and stopped. Slowly I crawled under the feathers to hide again.

Start trapped

Photo by Matthias Pick

Ends hidden

Photo by Monika Sobczak

Textura de Sombra

"NÓMADA EL LABERINTO DEL TORO" is an urban art festival that took place every weekend from the 31st of July to the 21st of August, Maracay, Venezuela. I performed on the second weekend of the event.

Textura de Sombra translates as Texture of Shadow. It consists of three main elements; my body dressed all in black, a scissors f0r cutting and food substances: sugar and yellow corn meal; both are a powdery texture. This piece aimed to make visible something personal and corporeal. I returned to the theme of showing the marked body as I first did in Marked for Life.

However I wanted the cutting to be as far removed from the idea of pain as possible. I wanted it to be more of a symbol, a memory, a line, a way of marking. I did this by making the act itself very hidden, slow and minimalist. I used the sugar and cornmeal the way colored powders are used to make mandalas using colors, line and repetition to create a composition that ended on my body. The lines were imitations of my way of marking myself; straight parallel lines. Through all this repetition I am drawing my lines out of myself and on to other surfaces.

I started the performance on the ground in the center of a design of concentric circles; this made my actions very site specific. I sat in the middle of the hills of cornmeal and sugar. I chose these substances to represent my dual Identity. Sugar historically coming from the sugar industry in Trinidad & Tobago and Corn Meal being the main ingredient for the traditional Venezuelan daily bread, Arepas. I used both substances for their texture and poured them like sand within the lines of the circles I was sitting on. All around myself I poured them to create numerous parallel lines.

Sugar

Corn Meal

When the hills had disappeared in this way I proceeded to cut open my leggings to reveal my naked flesh which similarly shows repeated parallel lines from scars. With sets of staples concealed in my hands I caressed my legs until old wounds reopened and new wounds were made. Once more I recreated lines; in each different way that I draw it, it is a mantra. The cuts bleeding in the same pattern I made on the ground; my blood mixing with the sugar and corn meal.

Photos by Narvis Bracamonte and Morella Cuba

Below is the video footage from the performance. It starts off very shaky but nonetheless I am always grateful for the people I meet willing to help me preserve these moments.

Being Everywhere

All One Breath

photo by Simone Gilliatt

Being Everywhere is a project started by Stefan Riebel based on his performative and sculptural works. He fills white balloons with his breath and sends them to people all over the world to burst and release his breath wherever they are. Anybody can take part by emailing him from this link: http://www.beingeverywhere.net/beingeverywhere/participate/participate.html

I had asked to take part in January, 2011 and in April I received a package containing the balloon with his breath still intact.

I went to the beach and had myself buried with the balloon in my mouth and then I burst it. Below is a video I made of it:

I was interested to participate in this project because of its conceptual nature using an ephemeral material like breath to form bonds between people all over the world. It reveals our common fragility; making our distance apart seem less than it is. It unites us through mail and the internet but also most importantly through one individual's breath which then becomes everybody's breath.

For more information view the following links:

My participation:

http://www.beingeverywhere.net/beingeverywhere/pictures/no_257.html

The Being Everywhere website:

http://www.beingeverywhere.net/beingeverywhere/web-content/index.html

Stefan Riebel website:

http://www.stefanriebel.de/

Taking Part in Territorio Desdibujado: Self Portrait/ Autorretrato

I am the T.V. / Soy la Televisión

Stare Like a Junkie/Parado como un drogadicto
Because Tragedy Fills me/ Porque eso me llena

Tragedia, violencia y sexo

Después del original performance de 'Niña en la Caja' hecho en 2007, este autoretrato (intervenido por la tecnología) fue parte del proyecto Territorio Desdibujado por Eliseo Solís Mora para la XI Velada de Santa Lucía, 4-6 Marzo 2011.

After the original live performance of 'Girl in the Box' made in 2007, this self portrait (intervened by technology) was part of the Territorio Desdibujado (Blurred Territory) curatorial project by Eliseo Solís Mora in la Velada de Santa Lucía.

Rodell Warner and I both took part in this project with self portraits. While there Eliseo, Rodell and I decided to also perform together. Below is the video; it is called Silencio/ Silence.

This performance had to with the difficulty and tension of communication as faced with differences. The piece was repeated randomly through the night. As visitors came in the house of Eliseo's exhibition to view his work we would engage in what may seem to be an aggressive argument. But it was not an argument only a simulation. We communicated in the most basic of ways; facial expressions, gestures, different tone and pitch and only one word- Silence/Silencio - as a contradiction/ contrast to our chaotic action. Like the Tower of Babel we spoke different languages to each other but the more we spoke the more heated our interactions got as there was no message received through the communication. Instead what happened is that we became emotive and unintelligible; we shout, we repeat ourselves, and we laugh at each other to retreat/ return once more into our different worlds.

For More information view the following links:

The beginning of the 'Girl In The Box Series'/ 'Serie de la Niña en la Caja' can be found on this link and also here

The website for la Velada de Santa Lucía:

http://www.velada-santa-lucia.com/

Video about la Velada de Santa Lucía

Links for Rodell Warner:

http://www.rodellwarner.com/

http://freepaperblog.blogspot.com/

Links for Eliseo Solís Mora

http://espaciolevintanteapuntesdearte.blogspot.com/

http://territoriodesdibujado.blogspot.com/

http://eliseosolismora.tumblr.com/

Camera-Walk #3

Photo by Gillian Moore
Live Camera-Walk at the Museum

Soon after returning to Trinidad & Tobago I took part in the We The Artists TALK AND PERFORMANCE NIGHT with a live Camera-Walk at The National Museum and Art Gallery of Trinidad and Tobago.

More can be read at the following links:
http://beezandhoney.blogspot.com/2011/01/we-artists-talk-and-performance-night.html

and the local Guardian article on the event written by Gillian Moore

http://guardian.co.tt/gillian-moore/2011/01/27/artists-come-together-panel-discussion

PerfoChoroní V

Photo by Alexander Escalona
Hablando Sola: la tecnología crea personalidades múltiples/Talking To Myself: Technology creates multiple personalities

Como parte de PerfoChoroní V, hablé sola. Es una performance que trata de la manera en que la tecnología ha moldeado al ser humano. Es una autotransmisión o una proyección de mi misma. Con la tecnología puedo multiplicarme y con esto también plantear las preguntas existenciales:

• ¿Cuál es la verdadera yo?
  

• ¿Por qué estoy aquí?/ ¿Donde estoy?
  

• ¿Cuál es la diferencia entre la vida virtual y la vida real?

Aquí está el video de la performance



Above is the video of my performance at PerfoChoroní, in Venezuela.

Hablando Sola: la tecnología crea personalidades múltiples/ Talking To Myself: Technology creates multiple personalities. It deals with the way the self can be moulded by technology when the human being is transmitted via the internet. Once we are interacting with the internet we are engaging in an act of self projection by placing of ourselves within; on the outside we are also receiving. This interaction become so casual that we are not always conscious that we are both moulding the virtual space as much as we are being moulded by it. It becomes a social experience that blurrs the lines between reality and virtuality. With this form of (social)technology I can modify myself; such as through self multiplication and thereby also pose certain existential questions:

• Which one is the real me?

• Why am I here?/ Where am I ?

• What is the difference between the virtual and the real life?

Below is the video I used during the performance to find myself and then talk to myself. Both videos are one conversation between my three selves. Both videos are each a self and the self that I was when I performed it live is yet another.

It is called I am Too Happy To Tell You. The video is a spontaneous reaction that sometimes occurs while consuming virtuality and loosing the ability to distinguish what is real from what is not. I know I have lost my capacity when I react in very real, visceral ways like crying. I had a combustion of tears that I did not want to loose because it can be evidence to prove my suspicion that technology can manipulate us, so I hit record. Like a confrontation meant to accuse I gave it my tears. It is a gift; the product of our interactions and so I feed the machine the way it has fed me.

Arriba esta el video que use durante el performance para encontrarme a mí mismo y después hablar sola. Entonces los dos videos son una conversación con tres versiónes de mí mismo. Cada video son una versión y cuando lo hice en vivo fue otra versión.

En español, quiero decir, Soy Demasiada Feliz Que Ni Te Lo Puedo Decir. El video es una reacción espontánea que se ocurre a veces cuando consumo a lo virtual y pierdo la abilidad de diferenciar que es real con lo que no es. Yo se cuando eso pasa porque tengo reacciónes muy fuerte y visceral como llorar. Esto sucedio cuando hice este video y yo no quería perder el momento, entonces lo grabe. Yo quería preservar mis lagrimas y regresarlo al internet como un regalo para el dueño, porque desde allí se vienieron. El internet es el responsable y el culpable, y yo lo alimento como se me alimenta también.

Camera Walk #2

Photo by Alexander Escalona
Camera Walk #2, Choroní- Venezuela

This is from the Camera Walk I did during PerfoChoroní V. It was a spontaneous act inspired by the chaos of the night, crowds and noise.

Esto es de cuando caminé con una cámara sobre mi ojo durante el PerfoChoroní V. Fue un acto espontáneo inspirado por todo el caos de la noche, las multitudes de gente y los ruidos.

V FESTIVAL INTERNACIONAL DE PERFORMANCE CHORONI 2010 - 2011“enFLUX actUS”(eventos del arte que vuelve a la vida)/ 5th International Performance Festival, Choroní 2010- 2011- “enFLUX actUS” ( Art events that return to Life)

PerfoChoroní is a performance festival rooted and inspired by the Fluxus movement. Fluxus developed in the 1960's in the U.S.A. and parts of Europe as an immediacy to find elemental modes of expression. It was a time of many changes; war and revolution- and likewise the changes of the time were represented in art through Dada, Surrealism, Fluxus and more. Each of these had in common the desire and ability to free the artist as a creative being more than ever before. This was during new influences such as Sigmund Freud's writings on the subconscious, super ego, ego and id. They used the theory in ways in attempt to make it relevant and practical to everyone. And so the definition of art was greatly challenged and it became decidedly very ordinary to illustrate that art can exist in anything especially the most absurd, mundane and quotidian.

The following is information provided about Fluxus by the organizers of PerfoChoroní

De hecho vivimos en una “escultura social” y se lo debemos al FLUXUS las posibilidades de entenderlo. Las consecuencias de este descubrimiento son profundas e inevitables y nos plantean preguntas más que afirmaciones:

• ¿Si las sociedades humanas son esculturas qué somos los hombres que vivimos en ellas?
• ¿Cuerpos pasivos o activos de la transformación que está en marcha?
• ¿Qué papel juega el arte la performance en la revolución que tiene lugar en nuestra escultura?
• ¿Somos todos artistas o solo los que tienen talento?
• ¿Y cuál es el arte que está porvenir: profundo y elitesco o simple y elemental?

And so we live in a 'social sculpture' and we owe the possibility to interrogate this sculpture to the Fluxus. The concequences of this descovery are profound and inevitable and we form questions more than answers:

• If human societies are sculpture what are the humans living within it?
• Are we passive bodies or active agents of transformation that is already happening?
• What role does performance art play in our social sculpture?
• Are we all artists? or Only the ones with discernible talent?
• And what is the art of the future? profound and elitist or simple and elemental?

For more info on Fluxus check the following links:

WWW.ARTNOTART.COM

WWW.FLUXUX.ORG

Camera Walk #1

Camera Walk #3, Berlin- Germany

This was part of my process in preparation for the final performance of the Performance Art Studies (P.A.S.) workshop. Feeling completely isolated and anonymous compelled me to record every fleeting moment as I was experiencing it. I went into different shops asking people I met to help me tape the camera to my head covering one eye. This exercise was a means to submerge myself even more fully into my experience as an outsider. It is an anxious impulse that helps articulate a variety of feelings and so I have decided to continue this activity in different cities that I travel to. However I will do it only in a state of anxiety and so the camera becomes a mask or bandage over myself. It is to protect myself but also to record that which causes me discomfort. To record something is to conquer it somewhat as I trap and preserve it for future reference in a small mechanical device. Through this process I render reality less a thing of terror.

On returning to Trinidad & Tobago I started editing the footage and it was then used in the We The Artists exhibition curated by Nicollette Ramirez. Below is the video Penetrative/ Berlin

The video can also be seen at http://www.2visual4arts.no/

More on the exhibition can be read here:
http://rhizome.org/announce/events/56719/

Since then, I have conducted two more Camera Walks; one in Choroní Venezuela during PerfoChoroní and the other at the National Museum of Trinidad as another contribution to the We The Artists exhibition.